Being a Kid Again

Well tomorrows the day! The release of Spiderman 3 Yeah!!! My son and I have been waiting for awhile. I'm taking the whole family to see it in IMAX. I truly enjoy movies especially those that make me feel like a kid again. Being a dad and an adult (yuck) I don't relax as much as I should. I love being silly and not making sense and just being a total goof sometimes. Letting the kid come out again. I enjoy it even more when I can do it with my family, my kids look in shock trying to figure who this person is and my wife just looks at me with that "When are you going to learn" look.

So this is the family movie agenda for the spring, so far. Spiderman 3, Pirates of the Caribbean 3,
Shreck 3 and Harry Potter, I think Harry is the 4th movie. We are soooo pumped. If movies aren't your thing I pray that you are able to find something that will bring out the kid in you.

I also want to give a shout out to Josh. Tomorrow he graduates college and will be entering into a new phase in his life
. Congrats Josh

Blessings

When we're not Perfect

There are many things that I would like to post on my board but I don't, at least not yet. Part of the reason is because I'm so passionate about the topic that I fear I may alienate people by it. Part of it is fear and part of it is that I tend to preach. I don't know if it's the Virgo in me or the fact that I'm a dad and am always preaching a theme or topic to my gang on a daily basis. In as much as I do it I don't like to do it with my peers. Most often when I post I try to put my views out for review and possible discussion. Without preaching hopefully.

Today I did something that I wasn't too happy with myself about. I've been working on a project at work very heavily and it's success depends on all the members participating fully. We have 2 facilities that are in the project with both having representation. We attended a critical training class for 3 days and at the end of the class the lead from facility B stood up and announce that she couldn't do this because it was too much for her. Mind you we had warned her prior to the start of the project to delegate the role to someone else but she refused. We started the project short and she was informed she would have to find a replacement. after a week word came down that she had chosen a person that had not attended class. Also she was a medical leave and was limited to the type of work she could do. We were all pretty upset thinking that we were given someone no one wanted rather than an eligible contributer. I was pretty upset.


Well we met the person today and as soon as I saw them I judged them and not in a good way either. The person was obese and unkempt and not very knowledgeable. Our project is computer based and the person didn't even know her password!!! I could not believe the situation not only was the person not at training but it looks like they're going to be a real anchor! I was upset but kept it hidden and tried my best to keep a positive outward appearance.


I took a walk to calm my senses and realized my mistake and how I shouldn't have typecast this person without openly greeting them and giving them a fair shot. I felt like a real Shit Head!!!
I told my wife about it and we discussed t for awhile. we both agreed that tomorrow I'm going back and start over with a new perspective.


I think we've all experienced times when we acted in a way we were not happy with. I know I have and I've worked to learn from those experiences and let them go and not let my guilt drag me down. We will always make mistakes, that's part of the learning process. The trick I think is to grow from the experience, and not only make ourselves better but try to make those around us better to.



Blessings

Unconditional Love

I have been going to hydrotherapy these past couple of weeks. An experience which I thought was going to be really difficult but turned out to be not so bad. I met my therapist and she basically became my therapist for all three of my sessions. AS you might guess when you're on your back for and hour you strike up pretty good conversations. When got on the topic of spiritual fulfillment, I had mentioned that I recently attended some Unity Services. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my therapist had known about Unity and had attended some services. She had said that it wasn't for her and she finally became a Roman Catholic. She told me that the only way to really help your soul was to receive communion and feel the holy spirit in you. That the only way to really be saved was to receive the Eucharist and then she gently tried to persuade me to consider this as an option. Bless this wonderful woman for wanting to help me. I thought it was really caring and nice for her to do that. Even though I disagreed with her I kept quiet and thank her for help, knowledge and caring. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had grown up Roman Catholic and had decided on a different path.


The conversation though made me think and it made me want to express my opinion on an idea that I had struggle with as a Catholic. This is the idea that there is a chosen group of people that will be lifted above the rest. A group that is apparently better than the rest. When I was a child I remember being told that it was extremely important to be baptized or you wouldn't go to heaven. I remember specifically being told that if we saw someone near death to make sure to confirm if they were baptized and if they weren't to try to baptize then so they would go to heaven. I had many friends and knew many good people that weren't baptized and I struggle with the notion that they would not go to heaven. why would a god that loves you unconditionally forsake so many? It did not make sense to me. This bothered me for many, many years.


Then it occurred to me!! That this idea of a chosen people was untrue!! If god loves everyone unconditionally why would she pick a certain group of people over another? I was amazed at how simple it was! The best way I can think of communicating my thinking on this is by the following analogy. Let's say I have two brothers that I love more than anything. One brother is blind and one is not. Lets say both of my brothers are starving and near death. Here I am and I have a table with enough food to feed an army and I invite my brothers to eat and be healthy and happy. the brother with sight finds the table easily but the blind brother continues to struggle and is lost. Am I going to let him starve? Of course not! I'm going to go out and get him and bring him to my table. If you love someone you're not going to put conditions on your love.


In my many years of struggling this made sense to me and rang true. No mather what you call the divine, God, Allah, Jehovah, The Universal Consciousnesses, etc...and regardless of what religion or spiritual path, The Divine is Love and Love does not exclude anyone. And in this knowledge I finally started to discover the true meaning of Grace and Unconditional Love.

Blessings

Utada Hikaru

My kids are really into this person, especially my daughter Nicole. She'll sing the lyrics and sound just as good if not better than Utada (of course this his her dad speaking). In any case it's a beautiful video and a visual blessing. I've sat and listened and watched it several times and each time I catch something and enjoy the song and video more. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do





Blessings

Speaking in tongues

I noticed something recently that I found really interesting. My middle daughter had told me this had been going on for some time but I honestly thought she was making it up just to be sarcastic. My son hasn't been feeling well. Like all of my kids for some reason when they don't feel well they end up on my bed. It must be the official family sick bed or something.

Anyway I was doing some work on the computer and he was sleeping in my bed. My son talks in his sleep almost always and it's funny to listen to him talk. This time he started talking and I was barely paying attention when I heard him talking wither Japanese or Chinese or some far east language. I was truly amazed as he was speaking in his sleep. I tapped his feet and woke him up. I asked him do you know your talking in another language in your sleep? He paused with a look like his secret was discovered and said uh huh and went back to sleep like it wasn't a big deal. I know my son and I'll just leave him alone until he feels like talking about it.



My daughter of course started jumping up and down yelling "You see I told you, I told you".
Does anyone have any thoughts? I'm guessing this is a previous life coming through in his dreams.


Blessings

Dream: Spirit in the Snow

This was a peculiar dream:


I'm around Boston and it's the End of Days. It's snowing and the scene is in a deep blue. I'm speaking with someone trying to get them to understand to flee to have any chance of survival. We both start to sink into the ice and snow.



I find myself back at Mount Loretto (the orphanage I was in) on the far end of th campus on a hill by the beach. I am lonely and can't get anyone to talk to me; the few people I see anyway. I'm trying to get to the other side of the campus. I find these big boxes like the one that have the big flat screen TV's. I use these boxes like sleds or ski devices one under each arm and head downhill to the other side of the campus.



I'm hitting bumps and each bump I hit I'm getting a little higher until finally i hit a bump and I'm sent high in the air. But instead of falling I'm actually flying. I'm flying extremely awkwardly without any real control of direction or anything. I see a couple heading into a house and yell out to them, to my surprise they respond. I awkwardly make my way down to them and discover they are like toys. When i ask what's going on the male figure says to me "Don't you know? We're all dead." I was a little shock but knew deep inside that it was true. I was feeling very lonely and looking for home. I wake up.



The dream was scary in a way but very weird. Don't know what to make of it but I plan on meditating on it for awhile to see if I can get any answers.




Blessings

My Dreams with Big Foot

When I was seven years old and in the orphanage I was told a story about a 10 foot creature that lived in the woods. I heard about how he made strange noises and how some people went for him to never come back. The story was about Big Foot. I had my first nightmare about him that night and he's been with me ever since.



I remember seeing him fight the 6 million dollar man on TV and then seeing him again in my nightmare that night. My brother even had nightmares about him. One night he woke up screaming that big foot was coming to get him. He came and woke me up screaming and frantic that big foot is after him. He yelled here he comes and as we looked down the hallway we saw this shadowy figure. We both jumped under the sheets. I turned out to be our foster mother of the time. I never thanked my brother for that nights big foot nightmare.



Like I said Big Foot has been with me all my life. I have not , to this day, figured out why I continue to have dreams about him. But he has evolved in my dreams as I've grown older. Initially Big Foot was always this scary figure always coming after me. In my younger dreams he was like my shadow and I would always wake up the millisecond before he reached out and grab. In my 20's and 30's he was always someone that was after me and no matter where I went I would get word that he discovered where I was an was coming to me. He never had a face.

I've had a couple of dreams lately but last nights was really different. Lately in my dreams bog foot has been somewhere which I would have to go in order to get to my destiny. I never had to met him because I always wake up before tackling the challenge. In last nights dream we actually met, sort of.

Again it was a dream where I knew he was searching me out. At the end of the dream I knew where he was but had to go through that area to get to my destiny. I went into a cabin only to discover he was outside of the cabin waiting for me. He looked inside the cabin window and we saw each others face. When I saw his face my fear started to disappear. He was very big and his face totally black. But his face had a familiar look. The look of someone who's a parent, grandparent uncle. He looked at me with eyes closed and smiles. As I looked at him I felt like we communicated to each other, trying to learn more about each other. I woke up.



As I have learned about my dreams I have discovered that things that we perceive as separate are really another part of us. I think Big Foot is a powerful side of me that has been lost trying to find it's way back home as I have. I think we just discovered each other. I am excited and scared about our next meeting.


Blessings

Stupid and Evil

My oldest daughter sometimes can be the cause of allot of excitement and sometimes the cause of a great deal of aggravation. She's 12 years old going on 21. I think if she had one single wish in the world it would be to be an adult. Several times a week we are speaking with her trying to get her to understand that she needs to be patient and live life now.



She's very smart but totally does not like school. To the point of almost saying h_te. We're not allowed to say the H word in our family. Most days she deals with it and it's bearable. But some times she goes on a run and it's quite challenging. She's on one this week and it's been tough. "School is stupid and they're all Evil" is the standard statement. I do not argue with her that school is not stupid and evil. If that's what she thinks it is than I'm not going to try to change her mind. We basically say to her that we don't think it's stupid and evil but if she does she's entitled to her opinion. What we do say is that even though she has this perspective she still needs to deal with it and go on. We remind her that she needs to learn how to deal with this as a life skill that she will constantly use. Also that she's 12 and has at least 4 more years. She sighs heavily and gives us this "Ï can't believe you're making me do this" look and walks away.


As I watch her walk away I wonder to myself how many times I deal with the "Stupid and Evil" things in my life and how often I sigh heavily and walk away.


Blessings

TANX

Thank you all for your posts. I am truly blessed to have people like you sharing your thoughts and ideas. I apologize for being off-line for awhile. I was feeling really tired and things have been intense. Found out I was tired because I had a peculiar virus. Anyway the virus is being handled and the intensity is still there but I have my smile back. :o)


Blessings

Try not to complain

I have been going to a untiy church lately and have been learning a great deal. I'm enjoying the feeling of belonging to an organization but more so one who has similar beliefs to mine. I enjoy the fact that they focus on love and loving yourself as well as others. To recognize the divinity within yourself.



Over the next couple of weeks they are focusing on the movie "The Secret" and the lessons we can learn from it. "The Secret" is basically the law of attraction; the law of attraction states that like attracts like. So if your in a bad mood more bad things will happen to you and if your in a good mood more good things will happen. The trick is to remain in a good mood and positive.


One way to do this is to stop complaining. Look back on your day and see if you could count how many times you complained about something or someone or some situation. I was very surprised when I sat back and reflected on my day. OOOOFFFF! There was this minister who apparently noticed this and wanted to do something to prevent this and stop the complaining. He got himself a purple band wore it as a reminder and every time he caught himself complaining he would switch wrist. Soon enough he wasn't complaining and learning to appreciate his situation. Anytime he found himself getting ready to complain he would stop and say "" I am Blessed" or "this will improve" or a similar positive affirmation. (I am repeating the story so I hope I got most of it right, I think I did :o)



He was so successful that he started sharing his idea and started a campaign. Since he has been recognized nationally and world wide. From what I understand his campaign has given away over 1 million bands. Of course, I have one, and I'm wearing it now and I've been switching wrist. I'm getting tired so I hope to be improving soon :o). They have a web site that explains the cause in more detail and where you can get a band for yourself. The web site also promotes his ministry which I don't exactly agree with but hey! He has a great idea and is taking full advantage of the benefits. Feel free to check it out if you want www.acomplaintfreeworld.org



Blessings

Dreams 4-10-2007

For the most part of posted a couple of dreams but I usually don't for the simple fact that I don't remember them. But today is different not only did I remember my dream but I remembered 2 of them. Also I usually don't post in the morning but I wanted to keep everything fresh; Here Goes;


Dream 1:

I am back on Staten Island with my friend Tom. I'm getting dressed in a uniform, either a soldier or policeman. Tom is patting me on the back in a that a boy type of way. A Little info on Tom, he's been my friend since high school he''s a good friend but unfortunately has allot of anger. He's very black and white. I get on a bicycle to get to my destination and head off. On my way there I see a wold and he's growling at me, I'm scared. He comes after me and I start pedaling faster to get away. He reaches me and we struggle he gets caught under my bicycle tire and he's injured and I manage to get away. A little further down the road there are two more wolves they start to come at me and I wake up.

I've learned that the things that I perceive to be other beings against me are actually are part of me. I'm thinking the first wolf was me trying to stop me from my destination. The second group was either my guides or my soul group (my wolf pack) trying to do the same. I use to be in the military and was once like Tom. There must be something going on in my life that will either cause me to be that way or to consider it.


Dream 2:

I''m on some type of adventure race or trip, like they have on TV. I want to go to Antarctica to find something. What I'm looking for is knowledge and and understanding and not some material thing. I want to discover what's under all of that ice. In as much as I want to go I'm apprehensive. There's a woman with me but I don't know who she is. That is to say that I know her in my dream but don't recognize her from anyone in my wake state. We finally agree that we're going and I get in my car in Staten Island to go to the airport at 5:00 AM.

As I'm driving to the airport I pass by the orphanage I used to be at. I find it strange that there are kids outside playing. A couple comes up to me and say hello and tell me that I have to help them with Mount Loretto (the orphanage). I"m very apprehensive but there's a child next to me in the car telling me that we should and that we need to. I stop to help and the child that was with me goes with the other children where I cannot see them. The couple explain to me that they're planning on changing the orphanage for the better but can't do it without my help. My stomach turns as I listen but I make the commitment to them and we start. I wake up.

This has to do with the volunteering I'm getting ready to do and me facing my past. I realize that it is part of my growth and something I have to do before discovering what's under the blanket of snow in my life.

This is an actual picture of part of Mount Loretto. When I was there in the Mid 70's they had tons of acres of woods and also a farm and beach. Being from Brooklyn I thought I was in kid heaven.

Blessings

The Illusion

I have read a couple of books by Neal Donald Walsch. He has written the "Conversation with God" series of books. They are very intense yet they really ring true for me. I keep wondering about one of the statements that is reinforced. The statement is that we live in an illusion and that this isn't are real selves. That we have created this illusion so that we may co-create and learn. Hence the reason we keep reincarnating into this world.

Like I said before this rings true for me and makes sense. I think about my situation and think how ironic. Here I am trying to make myself more centered to try to get in touch with my soul and my guides and the divine spirit; trying to develop my sense that we are all one and connected. At the same time we chose to break away from this feeling of one so that we may be individuals and learn the lessons and pains of being disconnected. I say pains because in as wonderful as I think life is we have all experienced pain and hardship in our lives. So much so that we struggle with these memories as they have a deep impact in how we act now. The questions that you ask yourself when you meet someone, should I trust them? Are they really sincere? etc....



I find myself asking these questions from time to time. It's the struggle I have with myself. I want to trust and accept but the memories from my past come back to haunt me. I've learn of a way to cope with this and again this is a reference from Neal Donald Walsch's book. In it the question is ask (and I'm paraphrasing) "Is this who I am now?" My interpretation given everything I did in the past who am I now? Am I the same person who made the mistake several years ago? I often think about this when I meet new folks and start getting apprehensive about opening up to them. Sometimes I use it when I'm thinking about posting something on the blog. Do I want to open myself up more? Do I want to expose myself?


I remind myself that we are here to learn; That the pain we sometimes experience is part of that learning process. In as much as we dislike experiencing the pain that we have continue on with the lessons of life. The lessons of life in this illusion.


Blessings

Coming around

I think things are starting to come around. I've been working really hard on not letting my old personality traits reappear. I've also been making sure that I've been positive and letting go of my worries and my want to take control of situations.

I think it's starting to pay off; One reason I say this is because out of nowhere I go a bonus at work! Talk about the Law of Attraction!! It was a significant amount also OOOFFF! This is great cause it will help us get caught up on so many bills.


The other neat thing is that I'm going for my volunteer training this Wed. Not only am I going but my wife said she wanted to do it with me. I love her so and I'm so grateful that she wants to be there with me. What was really nice was that originally it was a every weekend requirement. Not that I didn't want to do it but I thought about it after the fact that I didn't want to take away time from my kids. It turns out that they found someone else and we would fill in for her once or twice a month. That's great for us given our current situation! Again we're attracting!!


I want to give a shout out to Josh who added to his "The Vault" web site and added "The Purpose" Page also. The Vault was a great idea and I think with the purpose page he took a great idea and made it better.



Blessings and light to you.. I hope and pray that you are attracting the positive influences into your life that you all deserve

With or Without you

I don't know if many of you can recall the picture above. It's the picture of the boy from one of U2's first albums Boy. I was always fascinated by the picture and the boys piercing eyes. I was a junior in high school in 1982. My friend had the album and told me they were a great band. My friend was pretty cool and with the in crowd at the time. Being the ignorant soul that I was I played along and said yea I heard of them play the record (the vinyl record). He put on Sunday Bloody Sunday and I was hooked. Through their music I traveled on my spiritual journey. The Joshua tree album was significant for me because there were several songs on there that really touched me deeply. "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" said for me in the song what I was painfully feeling deep inside. My wife hates when I say this but the album is why my son has his name. They're older than I am but it seems as they grew so did I. I don't worship them like a groupy, but I think do admire them and see them as friends that I've known and grown with

I'm posting "With or Without You" with my new toy (esnips). This is a song I have sung to my wife my kids and my dog. And even though I really can't sing, sining out loud with Bono always brings a smile to my face and brightens my day.

Blessings

U2 - With or Witho...

Ending Suffering

I visited the Vault and I was bummed by it. I truly hope that the people who are posting are able to find a solution. As I read the postings I wanted to reach out to them and let them know that they are not alone and that they should not be ashamed of how they feel.

I'm reading a book now and in it the woman talks about a time in her life when things went really bad for her. She discovered a friend who just listened to and listened without judgement. This friend would every so often offer a suggestion which almost always initially rejected. After some time this women would think about the suggestion and try it. As she looked back at that part of her life she recognizes that this friend was what she needed in order to grow and get through that part of her life.


I think about those people who are holding these secrets inside that are causing them turmoil and I want to be their friend and help them but I know I can't in the way I want to. What I can do is next time someone starts to talk to me about their problem is to listen with my full attention and without judgement and offer a gentle suggestion if necessary. I think through this we can all offer a little help in ending the suffering.





Blessings

Mental Block

I have many things that I want to write about but unfortunately I seem to be having some sort of writers block lately. I'll start to write and after a couple of paragraphs not like what I wrote and erase it all.

Work has been a real challenge and I have been working on letting go and it has actually helped. I know I haven't fully let go because I think it's part of the reason why I'm having trouble writing.

Sooooo , please bear with me as I try to find the creative child in me again :o)



Blessings

letting go

The weekend is almost over and I have to say I enjoyed it thoroughly. I didn't do much in terms of going out. I spent it with my wife and kids and we did a bunch of things that needed to be done around the house. I promised myself that I wound not let work consume my weekend and I kept my promise. I spent only an hour at work and my wife went with me to help and keep me to my commitment to myself.



I started reading two books, one is flipping houses for dummies and the other is the unmistakable touch of Grace by Cheryl Richardson. Of course I'm really getting into the spiritual book and really want to finish the book in one reading. But that's not how the book was meant to be read (sigh). AT the end of each chapter there are exercises to reinforce what was communicated in that chapter. I'll probably be posting those communications as I go further in the book.



Which kinda brings me to the title of todays post. I've read many books (and probably will read many more); one theme I am discovering in these books is learning the ability to let go and follow the flow of life to your own path. Let go of worry and know that you are meant to experience you will experience. I am still working on this and even though I have progressed some I know I still have some ways to go. Every time I think I have it figured out and I'm letting go, something more challenging comes along to test me. That's probably the way it's supposed to be but ooof! But the times I have let go I have been amazed at how things start popping up that help me. It is totally amazing to see how it works. When we were moving to AZ we had no money what so ever to move. We figured it would cost at least 5000 dollars for the move and also another 3000 to rent a house with a down payment. I was very worried and it was affecting me very adversely. Finally, after reading one of those books, I decided to let go and stop worrying. To trust that things were going to work out. In two weeks my wife got a credit card that helped with the initial payment of the moving agency. By the end of the 4th week my employer offered me a position which included money to assist in the move. This covered the rest of the moving costs and the house. That night as I went to sleep I was amazed and extremely grateful.



Blessinfgs