Blue Monday

I was feeling nostalgic and kinda technoish so here it is Blue Monday!!!

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Really Restless

I don't know what's going on but I've been really restless lately. I know it's not a full moon so that can't be it. The restlessness is very annoying and distracting. I can't focus or meditate. I try to meditate and get edgy so I stop then I get upset with myself because I wasn't able to meditate. A terrible cycle.

Even writing has become an unfocused choir. I'm hoping this phase will be over soon but I have to say it's really frustrating.

Blessings

Guess who's back

There's been a bug going around AZ lately. Some have gotten an upper respiratory infection and some have gotten strep throat. Me and my family got the first (Yippee). For some reason when I'm sick I remember more of my dreams.

Last night I was having trouble sleeping and had another big foot dream. I can't recall the whole dream I can remember I was running to get someplace and I ran into three big foots. Even though I was afraid they didn't seem to care that I was there. They took off on their way and I did on mine. One thing I noticed about all my bigfoot dreams is that I'm always running someplace. The other thing I noticed is that I'm always running South and West and I'm usually in the mountains.

I guess some day I'll figure the whole deal out



Blessings

December Dream

I rarely remember my dreams, so on those nights where I do, it's pretty significant. Recently an old high school friend made e-mail contact with me. This person is very unique and there was always something about him that just made us click as friends. He experienced very hard times throughout his journey and it was good to hear from him. I sense he's apprehensive about me but I understand.



Anyway back to the dream. We're in a dance hall but it looks like the basement of the dance hall. There are allot of people all very different but we're all dancing to the same tune you can say (sorry about the cliche) I see my friend James and he's quiet and reserved as usual. I'm hanging with a colorful group of people who have come out and are really comfortable with it. I'm feel really happy and I'm enjoying the scene.

We sitting at these long old wooden folding tables and just being bohemians. I notice at the end of the table this man, just standing looking over us quietly and confident. I remember the color grey with him but don't know why. I go to him and he tells me to follow him but not with words. we walk around the table to the edge of the dance floor. he points to the floor and there are a couple of pieces of glass. The glass is shattered into some thick pieces. They look like a prism and they radiate all kinds of colors. The man picks it up and informs me that I will be able to do many things with this. I'm curiose and ask like what. He looks at me puzzled like I should know. He taps my head with the glass and I become younger (mid 20's), he taps my head again and I'm much older (60's) he does it one more time and I'm someone else. Finally being myselfe again, I understand that this is another tool for my journey. He smiles at me.



The hall starts to get wet from water coming from the ceiling. everyone gets ready to move the party upstairs. We're moving on up !! As I prepare the man leaves and I wake up


I don't have a full explanation of my dream. I know it was a message and I know it made me feel really good. I know as I go forward the meaning will come to me.


Blessings

Elf yourself

Below is a really funny holiday link. I did my family in some not so good pictures. Enjoy

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9558731858



Blessings

Lightworker videos

Found these two videos on the Lightworker web site. They pretty cool. so I figured I'd share them. Blessings

A lesson learned

Learned a lesson a little while ago. I've always been a very independent thinker. Always on my own and argued my point very aggressively when I thought necessary (which in my youth was often) Thinking it was a battle I never conceded defeat. My current place of employment has challenged that aspect of me greatly. There have been times when I've taken things into my own hands and have been labeled a "Cowboy". From my perspective, even though I informed everyone of what I was doing I was still a non-team player because I did it on my own. This really bothered me because we are short staffed and I did fix the solution and shared my knowledge so one would think things would be good. This has been the cause of a great deal of frustration and reflection for me. The situation kept repeating and each time I did what I felt strongly was the right thing and each time I would fix the issue and alienate the same people. I was very tempted to say "screw them, if they're too insecure to recognize help then they can kiss my Butt!"

We just went live with a new application in our operating room. I'm and IT guy and my main responsibility is to get this new OR Application running properly. I was in at 5 AM because that is when patients start to arrive and the staff starts to prepare for the days operations. First thing we discover is that printing isn't working. Apparently the patients information is printing at another location and the other locations print jobs are printing in OR. This is not good and has a negative impact on patient care. It's early morning and there are no other IT folks around to help. So I switched printers. Now in a standard It environment this would have worked. In this case it did not and I made the situation worse. Noe there are nurses upset, some patients upset and no print jobs. I was able to get a work around but it required some extra effort on the nurses. Fortunately they were able to work with me for until we could fix the issue.

My stomach was in knots and I was very upset. I did some research and knew how to fix the problem but couldn't because I did not have the rights. I had to go to the people who thought of me as a "cowboy" and inform them of my mistake and ask for help. This went against every grain of my body. I fought with this (and I mean fought) for a good while. There was a way I could patch it and know one would know the better but it wasn't the right way. I felt the fear of being wrong and/or being discovered. It felt terrible and lonely. I was soooo tempted to not let anyone know and go on my merry way. I finally decided to let them know and ask for help. As one would guess they were not too happy and on top of that it took them some time to fix it which made the situation a little worse. After 3 hours it was fixed.

I was glad that I was able to overcome my ego and fear. I was greatly relieved and realized this was a lesson for me on many levels. Looking back I feel that all of those other incidents were preparation for me for this incident.

Blessings

Trotting on Turkey Day

I hope everyone enjoyed the holiday. Silly me decided to do a 10 mile race the morning of Thanksgiving. Partially because I'm not too bright and partially because I got the chance to meet another runner through someone I worked with. I'm glad I went because I made a new friend. The race was nice but I paid for not being prepared. It was a nice run that went along a path that passed a bunch of horse stables. The race ended in a baseball field that is used for the pre-season games for the Seattle Mariners. That was really neat.


Blessings

Free

I subscribe to an e-mail service called Daily Word. It's a daily e-mail sent from Unity offering a saying for the day. Every so often one comes along that has become an answer to something happening with me at the moment. This next one really hit home and inspired me so much I sent it to my family. I've been wanting change and slowly been gaining the courage to move forward.

Blessings

Free I am free to live a happy and healthy life. Discovery and growth are essential in life. Each day, I learn something new about myself and the world around me. At one time, I may have believed I was unable to change my habits or behaviors. Spiritually awakened, I know that there are no chains that bind me to an old, familiar way of being. Through the power and presence of God within me, I am free to realize my highest potential. I am free to enjoy and experience life in a whole new way. Through God’s spirit within, I am divine in nature, and true freedom is my inheritance. God has given me all that I need to live freely, fully, and creatively. Allowing the light of God to shine through me in all that I do, I am free to live a happy and healthy life.

CHanges part 2

As I said in my mustache post I've really been feeling the urge to make some changes. Beyond making changes to my appearance I've started working on making professional changes. I'm going to start realty school to get my license so I can start in the arena of buying, fixing and flipping houses. I've posted before about wanting to flip houses, I've just been procrastinating. I'm also going to get together with an old friend with whom I worked with for the last 10 years. He's a consultant and that's another area I want to go into (becoming a consultant). I feel I want to effect positive change and for me I feel this is the best way to do it.

I have to admit, I am pretty scared. But at the same time I'm really excited about the possbilities


Blessings

Changes?!?

OK, lately I've been getting an urge to make a change in my life. I don't know why but that's what I've been feeling. Sooooo I went and got myself a new haircut and I shaved my mustache of 15 years. I am balding at my age so I was concerned more about the short haircut but it was my clean face that attracted the most attention and comments. So far the preference from friends and family has been to grow the caterpillar back. I appreciate their honesty and I'm trying to get used to the new look but right now I'm 50/50. take a look and let me know your thoughts.

I am an Individual

Nicole took the picture above. I really like it and I told her so. She blushed and asked me "Do you really like it?" I said yes and she said "It says, I am and individual". I thought that was pretty cool. I have to say I'm really proud of my babe.

Blessings

Back from NYC & PA

Well we're back!! Even though I didn't do the marathon the weekend was excellent. It started off rough, I got into a heated argument with my wife. There was an issue that came up that could have potentially ruined the whole trip. Fortunately we worked through it and the weekend went really well.

The whole family went back and I think it was good to do to have some closure. When we moved it was quick and rough and I don't think we had a chance to reflect. Especially for my kids, I noticed allot of mixed feelings from them as the weekend went on. I too experienced mixed emotions but I really do not regret our decision. Life is about change sometimes it's easier to adjust than other times. I think I will always miss PA but home is in AZ now. Maybe sometime in the future we might go back but I really don't think about that.

Anyway my oldest and youngest spent most of the weekend with their friends. My middle Nicole and Pam and myself spent a day in NYC and it was great! We drove to one of my old neighborhoods in Brooklyn where I grew up. Allot of strong feelings their and I was happy to share it with them. We ran around central park and checked out the preparations for the marathon. And we topped the evening off with fun in time square and the play "RENT". It was the first time any of us have seen a broadway play and it was awesome!

I think it was love shared and experienced.


Blessings

Seasons of Love

RENT Lyrics

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Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my Halloween Sweet Heart. My lovely wife turns 40 this Samhain's Eve and she is more beautiful than ever and I love her more than ever!

RENT

WOW! We just watched "RENT" The movie version of the Broadway Play and wow it was great!!!!
I can't wait to actually see the play! Many people have told me how good it was and now I know why. OOOF! If you get the chance, please rent the movie or better yet see the play.



Blessings

Numbers!?! , Running Update

My friend Titania had a posting awhile ago about seeing repeating matching numbers i.e. she would see 444 , 555, 777. I thought this was really interesting so I googled them. To my surprise I discovered there were listed meanings for them. Lately I've been seeing 333. I've dreamt that I would finish a marathon in 3 hours 33 minutes a couple of times. I thought it was cool but didn't pursue it. Lately I've been waking up at 3:33 so I decided to start looking into it. I found one site that said 333 signified changed. If anyone can offer anymore information I would be very appreciative.

I started the season with lofty goals with respect to running. Unfortunately they are not going to be realized in the time that I wanted. I did not run the Steamtown Marathon because of a slight injury and I just withdrew my name from the NYC Marathon because I am not in marathon shape.
The good part about withdrawing is I get a guaranteed spot for next year. :o)

In any case I'm still going to NYC with my family because I can't get my money back. So we're planning on making the best of it.



Blessings

Meditation Music

My Middle child is getting into meditation, she found this nice 7 minute meditation piece of music. It's very nice.

We got Robbed!

Hello all;

I was hoping my first post back would be about our weekend but it's not. We discovered yesterday that we were robbed. Even more disturbing was the fact that it was our own fault. I guess living in Pa the last 10 years our sense of security became laxed. We left the garage door open and someone came in while we were sleeping and stole a bunch of things including my wallet and car keys. I think they didn't steal the car because the other car was blocking it.

It's funny, nothing like getting robbed to really make you take a look at your values and your own sense of security. I experienced a range of emotions before I was able to ground myself. Here's a funny; As I was distracted by these emotions I called the police to file a report. I look up Peoria Police dept on line and call them. I tell them what happened and they let me know they're sending a car. I wait and about 15 minutes alter they call me back telling me they can't find my house. They confirm the address again and let me know they'll be here soon. Another 15 minutes and they call again. After talking to them for another 5 minutes I discover I called Peoria Illinois, I live in Peoria Arizona. It was funny and the operator had a good sense of humor. This help me get grounded.

The robbers got some nice things and I hope they truly enjoy it. It was our own fault and if I was a thief, I would have thought I hit the lottery. I was surprised that they didn't take more than they did. My biggest concern is to help my family feel comfortable again in our house. But I'm sure in time, we'll be OK. Again something like this is like a big curve ball and it makes you take a step back and evaluate what's important to you. I love my family and I'm glad we're together, healthy and safe.



Blessings

A little break

Hi!

We finally starting making some progress with the project I'm on at work and I have been able to get home at a decent time and kinda relax. Although I am on call until Friday:o)

I know I'm been really busy and stressed because I'm starting to think crazy thoughts. I originally signed up to do the steamtown marathon in Scranton this Sunday. My running wasn't going the way I thought it should be going so I signed up for the Road Runners 1/2 marathon this Saturday instead. Now I'm actually considering doing both!!!! Am I nuts or what?!?!?!

I'm not trying to prove anything I just really enjoy running and for some reason feel very guilty about not running the marathon. So far because they're so far apart distance wise, I do not think I will be able to do both. Pam and I have already made several commitments in NYC for Saturday, so getting back to PA in time to pickup my runners packet would not be likely.

Maybe I should just stop questioning myself and just go with the feeling regardless if it makes sense or not.

I'll let ya know what happens



Blessings