INTENSE!!!!!!

It's been a really intense day... I'm feeling totally drained because my emotions have been at some extreme points, anger, disappointment, sadness, etc, none of the good ones unfortunately. I'm much better now just feeling tired and kind of recouping my body and strength. Let me start.

The day started off decent enough; the Realtor came over and dropped off the contract that my wife and I need to sign before they can start showing the house. I was nervous and cautious becuase I've never sold a house before and I'm pretty ignorant of the process. The woman was nice and my wife feels comfortable with her. She's and older woman and I have to say that I feel a comfort also.



Keeping in line with my new attitude I started to aggressively pursue employment opportunities in AZ. One of them which I was waiting on I had communicated with on several occasions before. I never received a negative response so my hopes stayed up and I didn't want to push the issue. Well today I pushed the issue, but I did it in a nice way. Come to find out that they made their decision awhile ago and never notified me. The company pointed the finger at the HR department even though I had made several inquires with management also. I got pretty upset because I had high hopes. I think I mostly became upset with myself because I went against who I am and what I do. In the process I made my family go through hardship that they didn't need to go through. It's a lesson learned but trust me a very tough lesson. I'll never go back to being the person I was but I know from now on my gut is what will choose my path. On the good side I do have a dialog with another company in AZ and I have a second phone interview tomorrow. I barely meet the qualifications but I know I can do the job. I'll let you know.



You know how they say when it rains it pours? As I've posted before my middle daughter has emotional issue's and we've been fighting with the staff in the program she's in because they say she's schiziod. They do not like me because I've been adamant that they do not have any evidence to support them and they're not following proper protocol. Our meetings have been tense but cordial. My daughter came home today and fell apart. Apparently the two senior staff members met with her today and threatened her with sending her to some sort of reform school if she didn't let them help her. They told her that her mom and dad couldn't even get her out or help her. They also asked her if my wife and I touched her in any sexual way. Apparently they didn't think it was right when the gang watched TV with us one night in our room on our bed. I could go on with more but I won't. As you could guess my emotions peaked again and along with the anger came the fear. It's one thing when they wrong about a diagnosis and another when they threaten to take your child away. I'm pulling her from the program tomorrow and will start home schooling her. Initially I was going to pursue legal action also but I've calmed down (but I'm keeping that option open)



So that was my day....OOOOOFFF! It was funny, at the time I was sooo angry, my first thought was " you have to get rid of the anger and think positive". Man have I changed. I think 6 months ago I would have been at the persons door knocking it down.

Blessings

Dream of Anger

Last night I had an interesting dream. I was in a hotel and things were not going well. I can't remember exactly what was wrong but I was deliberately being duped by the staff of this establishment and I was not happy. What made it worse was that they knew they were taking advantage of my situation and they were smiling at me about it. I could feel the anger increase in my body and in my dream my anger became so overwhelming that I lifted the building using some sort of mental powers and dropped it destroying it. Unfortunately it also hurt allot of innocent people inside. I woke up from this dream in a rather calm state of mind and I remember saying to myself, I still have allot of anger I need to get rid of. Growing up my temper was always on my sleeve. It helped me greatly as an orphan growing up on the side of the neighborhood people didn't like to go. One of the interesting parts about the dream is that as I got angry I felt powerful and strong. I felt my heartbeat increase, my muscles tighten and just an intense addictive power. I've learned that it's a deception, when you become angry even though you feel strength, it is really a sign of weakness.

As I got older it (my temper) became a real hindrance without my recognizing it. It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I recognized this. I think I'm a great deal better than I was but my dream served as a reminder to me that I still need to be mindful of it. It is something that haunts me and I think will for some time. I thank my guides for bringing it to light so I don't get too confident that I've beat it. Better to lose my cool in a dream than in my awake state.

Blessings and stay calm

The Decision and Shelly's Birthday

Well, after discussing with my wife for a great length of time, I decided to turn down the position in PA. My gut tells me I need to get going to AZ and that's what we're going to do. We're putting the house up for sale and as soon as it sells we're mobile. I've never been one to wait for life. I truly think that you live life by taking the lead and going out and doing it. Like the commercial says "Just Do It". I hate to quote TV commercials but that has always been my motto. These last 6 months I have waited for something to happen that didn't occur. I do not regret it because I have learned allot about a great deal of things including myself. But now it's time to start living life again. I didn't make this decision on my own and I owe a great deal to my wife for her patience and support.

Also, today is my Shelly's Birthday party. Her Birthday was yesterday and she just turned 11. From what I understand she's officially a preteen and that's suppose to be really significant. Anyway, she's having a sleep over and my home is full of "preteen " girls doing preteen girl things. I baked a cake and totally screwed it up so we had to go to the store to buy a real cake. Cakes are not my thing I guess. She's very excited and I'm happy for her. As a parent there is nothing more wonderous (is that a word?) than your child's happiness.

Blessings

Decisions and first time experience

It looks like the end of 2006 is going to be just as challenging for me as the beginning. I just received a job offer from a hospital here in PA and it's a very good position with allot of potential. Originally I was going to take the position and put off moving to AZ until this upcoming summer. Like anytime when you think you have a fool proof plan something always happens. I received another call from a hospital in AZ that is interested in me. I have spoken before with them but since I didn't here anything further I assumed the position was filled. Now I find out that I'm being considered for more than one position. Hence my quandary. I like the job in PA but I don't want to take it if AZ works out. But if I turn down PA and AZ doesn't occur our financial situation just gets worse. Stay tuned.

For my first time experience I just had an enema for the first time. I don't know if it's just me but this is a totally unnatural experience. My wife was helping me and she was laughing the whole time. The enema is recommended as part of the fast to get rid of toxins in the body. I also have to add that I am a big baby when it comes to things like this. Plenty of women have always told me that men are baby's when they're sick and I'm living proof. God bless my wife for putting up with me. We finished the enema and I'm still alive and feeling allot better. :o)

Christmas Crystals

There was plenty of crystal gifts at our household this holidays season. My wife received a Lapis pendant. My youngest got her beloved amethyst crystal and the oldest daughter has her rose quartz. My son wasn't sure what he wanted so he got the gift certificate. Needless to so the local earth gallery is going to get a big visit from our family soon.

Blessings

Apples

Just had a beautiful holiday weekend which I am very grateful for. It was wonderful. That being said I decided to start on my new years resolutions early. So today I'm starting an apple fast. Edgar Cayce has several simple fasting plans and one of them is a three day apple fast to cleanse the body of toxins. This my first true venture at attempting a fast so I'm sure it will be interesting. My goal in all of this is to start working towards getting a more alkalized based diet in my life. I've done allot of reading on the subject and decided it was time to do this. Especially if I want to get myself more aligned. I find it really amazing at how processed foods are so harmful for us and how the body continually adjust to deal with these toxins we introduce.

Blessings

The Eagle and My Pendulum

I was doing my 6 mile run yesterday afternoon trying out this new breathing technique that I read about. The traffic was really heavy due to the holidays shopping season and was a big distraction to my normally quiet run. Right about at my three mile turn around I saw this beautiful Bald Eagle. It was gliding in the wind and saw me. It came about 50 feet over my head circle twice and went off. What a beautiful animal it is. This is the first time I've ever seen one in flight and so close. I smiled to myself and gave thanks for the experience.

I had bought a quartz pendulum to use. The first day I had it I dropped it and it chipped the tip off. I was discouraged but decided to keep it anyway. I had cleaned it and carried with me for almost a week so it could tune itself to my energies. I decided to use it last night. First my wife, my youngest and I had a quick meditation to clear our minds. It wasn't suppose to be quick but there were too many distractions(Dog barking, phone ringing, refrigerator turning on etc). After our session I said a quick prayer and I started asking questions. Since this is my first time I have to be honest and say that I was truly amazed at how it worked. I would ask a question and I would get an answer. Near the end of the experience I could feel the energy in my hand and fingers.

I guess this was a day of multiple firsts. :o)

Bear Dream

I had another strange dream last night. I'm not a lucid dreamer but I'm starting to think that maybe I should start trying to learn that skill. I'm also learning that my initial emotions on a dream should be looked at closely because when I sit back and look at my dreams I get a different feeling than the initial ones. Here's my dream.
I'm in the south and I'm a race car driver, like for NASCAR. I'm not racing yet but there's a race coming up. I'm in the woods by a creek and a brown bear comes after me he reaches for me and sort of scratches along my back. All I can think off is don't let him get his arm around you. The Bear disappears and time moves forward a day. I'm back at the creek again but this time it's with my wife but she isn't my wife. She's someone else's wife. The bear appears again and we run to what I know is a cabin up the creek a little. We go into the cabin and lay in a bed together. Again the bear comes and reaches for me. Again my thought is don't let him get his arm around you and he scratches my back. the bear leaves and I'm laying there with her and I feel really good that she's with me. Her husband comes and says hello and she goes to talk to him and kiss him hello. There's no animosity between us and he doesn't care that she was lying with me. I have to admit though that I'm jealous she's with him but in a sad sort of way not anger. The owner of the cabin comes in and we talk and I tell him about my experience. His first question is "You didn't let him get his arm around you did you?" We talk a little and I discover he used to be a race car driver as he shows me some of his trophies. The funny thing about the owner is that he's this guy I know in real life who's a real redneck(hillbilly). I'm sorry but I don't know how else to describe him. Unfortunately he is the stereotype and even though we were pleasant to each other we really didn't like each in real life. That's where the dream ended. Originally in my dream I was afraid of the Bear. When I woke up I thought about this a great deal. Then I realized if the bear really wanted to get me, he or she would have. I'm just trying to figure now what the meaning f the bear the arm around me is?

Reading and other things

Among other things the past couple of days I've been doing a great deal of reading. Firstly I had a second interview with a technical team at a hospital so I had to review all of technical books to make sure I was ready for any questions they might give me. The interview went really well and I am expecting a call with an offer probably next week from what they told me. Secondly, my wife was nice enough to get me a number of books for Christmas (yippee). AS you have probably guessed I didn't wait until Christmas to open them. If anyone wants to get a bargain on books go to half.com, they're great. Some books I got for 39 cents! Unfortunately for me I'm a quick reader especially if the topic interest me. Anyway, these are the books we got;
"how to uncover your past lives" Ted Andrews, "Past Lives and Future Healing" Sylvia Brown,"Friendship with God" Neal Donald Walsh,"Cyrstal Therapy" Doreen Virtue,"Hands of Light" Barbara Ann Brennen, "The Power of Intention" Wayne W. Dyer and finally "Communion with God" Neal Donald Walsh. Of course I wanted more but my wife cut me off (Good Thing). I've finished all except, communion with god, hands of light and the power of intention. And that's because I just got those three today. All the books are great and are giving me a great amount of information to ponder. So far I've enjoyed Sylvia's and Neal's books the most. I've even sat with my gang and we've taken turn reading Sylvia's book. I'm really excited about the hands of light book because I do wish to heal at some point in my life and the power of intention book is a direct result of the secret video. I could go on and on but I'll be good.

Blessings

Making Progress

The picture above is from my middle child. She has a wonderful gift for finding very nice pics. Anyway we've been really busy the past couple of days getting ready for the holiday weekend so I apologize for not posting anything. I started this post talking about my daughter because my wife and I decided to take her to a regression therapy. We've been having allot of issue's with her counselors and we continually disagree on what type of treatment she should get. I'm pretty much to the point where I'm thinking of pulling her from the program and home schooling her. We spoke with a psychic and she recommended regression therapy. In any case I was able to make contact with someone in south pa near the philly area. We spoke and I am excited about getting my daughter started. I sat down and spoke with my daughter about it and she is open to doing it and I think just as excited. We're going to schedule the first session for Jan 10. I'll probably be posting about it again when the time comes.

Blessings

Here's the Gang!

Here's the gang; We have been trying to get a family Christmas picture for the last week but like anything else something was always coming up. Looking at the picture now I laugh because everyone looks so happy. Like anyone with a family like mine the kids were fighting my wife and I were yelling and of course the camera wasn't working the way it was suppose to. But if things were easy, it wouldn't be as much fun. ;o)

My Christmas Wish

The Christmas spirit has been slow in getting to me this year. I haven't been negative and I've been keeping a smile but the true joy I usually experience wasn't happening. The joy of a child is what I relate it to, a warm feeling inside that indescribable. I was listening to Christmas music and all of a sudden it came that lovely spirit of the holidays. Sitting down and writing this while I listen to the music I discovered that I have a Christmas Wish. I want to ballroom dance with my wife. Dancing is something I love and I can do it allot better than my other love (singing). I want a moment where we both can look into each others eyes and share the beauty of life together in a dance. It probably won't happen this Christmas but when it does I'll let you know. That's my Christmas wish.

Merry Christmas and Blessings

Wolf pack and our dream boards

I had a strange dream last night. I say its' strange because I have never had a dream in which I changed. I think my guides got the idea from my old friend Ravens blog and her dreams. In the beginning of the dream I am me. I don't know where I am but I want to get out of there. No panic or anything, I just know I'm working my way on getting out soon. Then everything changes and I become a wolf; I'm in what looks like a cave overhang but it's low so only animals such as myself can fit under it. I am part of a pack and there are other packs there but were not friendly with each other. Outside of the overhang I see two of the members of my pack returning and one is hurt. I tense up and signal to the other members of my pack that we have to go and help them before the others notice and attack. We're able to fend of some approachers and help our members back to our area in the overhang. I don't know what it means, all I can tell you is the great feeling of love that comes over me for me brothers and sisters of the pack. Even as I write this I feel the love.




The secret video continues to have an impact on my family. In the video one of the speakers spoke about how he created a board and put everything he wanted on that board so he could see it every morning. That inspired us, Everyone in my family went ahead and created a dream board. We spent a good amount of time on the internet trying to find pictures to our dreams. My girls and my wife created really nice looking boards with flowers and snow flakes(I'm jealous). I just created mine with some of my dreams. But none the less we all have our dreams and they're beautiful. There was another part to the video in which a guy had a gratitude rock he had in his pocket. Every time he would see it the rock reminded him to be grateful of everything he had. We're doing the same thing but with our crystals; they're prettier than rocks.


Blessings to you

Shooting Stars and My Dream

There was another metoer shower last night. I found out about it during yesterday evenings news report. AT first I thought we were going to miss it because of clouds (Like the last one). I did one of those you wake up in your sleep moments about 12:30 AM and took a quick look out of my window, I managed to catch two shooting stars. I went to wake up my gang so we could watch them together. Only my middle one managed to get up and watch them with me. I don't blame them they were really tired and they had school. Anyway,we stayed out there for about 15 minutes and shared the moment. It was nice




I had a peculiar dream last night that I thought I would mention. I went to a job interview a couple of days ago and I did well. SO much so that they called me back for another next week. In my dream I'm at the prospective job but I do not have it yet. For some reason I end up sleeping over at the job (the Job is in hospital). I wake up and as I get up I notice something at the side of my bed that startles me. It's a black bear, Initially I'm fearful but sit up on my bed with my feet next to it. the bear gets up and walks towards the door. While walking to the door it changes to a german shephard. I think to myself that I have to get ready so I better let him out. AS I open the door I hear people in the hallway but decide to let him out anyway. End of dream. I know bear is one of my totems I'm figuring dog is also, I just can't get an explanation for the dream yet.



I friend of mine introduced us to this link below (Thank you Titania). It's an incredible 90 minute video called the secret. It is a truly profound piece of work that can be life changing if you want it to. My wife and I viewed it together and we were blown away. After much discussion we decided to let our kids watch it. We were apprehensive but decided that the positive impact would be worth it. AS they watched it we prepared ourselves for an intense discussion. The kids loved it and to our amazement, we heard some of their stories in which they had been practicing some of the things the video preached. It's well worth taking the time to view it

Learn the Secret

Discovery the Rose of Perfect Timing

I spoke with a psychic awhile back. She told me about all these things that were going to happen in my life. It was an overwhelming amount of information but I truly appreciated and enjoyed the experience. One thing she explained to me was that before all this would happen I would have to learn patience and understand the perfect timing of the universe. I never was a patient person and was always very aggressive. Once I discovered that something had to be done or that I wanted something it was full steam ahead, Why wait??? I knew I didn't have patience and that I would have to learn it but pretty much let it go. The perfect timing thing I totally blew off, I figured yea yea if I get patience the timing thing doesn't matter. Like my old self, I ran to learn patience. For about the last 4 months it's a lesson I've been working on. They say that you truly learn a lesson when you experience a hardship and I think I am an example of that. I have learned to become more patient and recognize what I have in front of me now. It's a skill I continue to polish. But what truly fascinated me was the perfect timing of the universe which I have just discovered. I have been a spiritual journey of discovery. Every time I would come across new information or read a book I would get totally engrossed in it and was anxious to learn as much as possible. I would literally rush to get as much information as possible. For about the past two years I had this book on my coffee table that I essentially ignored. The title was interesting but that was about my interest in it. I read books from Dannion Brinkley and even had a session with him. I learned a great deal from that experience. I've read books from the Edgar Cayce foundation and spoken with different folks that broadened my experience even more. I've read a ton of books. Every time I would learn something new but would crave even more; I would have a feeling that I'm getting closer to something. Given my financial situation I could not buy anymore books nor could I purchase any sessions with other individuals that had other insights. I've reread some of the books I already had to see if I could gain more insight and some I did. Eventually being tired of rereading my books I turned to the book on my coffee table. I figured it had something to do with all the topics I've been reading about, why not. I started reading the book and what an eye opening experience it was. While reading the book I suddenly realized that I had this book for almost two years and never bothered with it. I also realized that if I had tried to read it earlier, I wouldn't have understood its message and quickly discarded it. It took my progression through all these other resources before I was ready for this book. In recognizing this I realized I had discovered the perfect timing of the universe. I do not consider this book more important than the other resources but the next sequential step in my path. For this discovery I am truly thankful.

Lessons of a child

As a parent I'm always trying to think of ways that I can help my kids learn the lessons in life the best way possible. It's always great when you see them as they start to become young adults and use the lessons that you worked so hard to teach them. A pleasant surprise I've discovered is the fact that I have learned so much from them. My children have taught me things that I never even took notice of. Without them I know I would not have the appreciation and love of life and others (and myself) that I have today. The picture above was downloaded by my middle daughter and turned into our wallpaper. I think it's one of her animal totems; Reading the meaning I'm not surprised. So this holiday season I have already received my gifts. One that doesn't need to be given at Christmas or another holiday and that can be received any day. You don't have to be a parent to receive it; Just open your hearts and minds and listen to the lessons of a child.

New Baby !!

Just got some great news, my sister is going to have a baby. She's really excited and really nervous. I think she was apprehensive about telling folks because she's just moved to Portland is beginning a whole new life for herself. I told her not too worry because she will be a great mom. She is a very caring and sensitive person. Even though I'm the oldest I have learned allot from her caring and loving spirit. So please join me in sending Blessings

Cold Weather in Pa and Life

OOOOOFFFF! It's cold hear today!!! It was 12 overnight with a wind chill of -8!! Right now it's mid day and the thermometer is 25 degrees. My dog didn't even want to go outside today. Anyway besides being cold we got about 1/4 inch of snow and the roads froze overnight. So as you can guess driving was really exciting this morning. I haven't written much because not much has been going on that I really thought was worth writing about.
I got my water turned off for a day, yesterday, because we didn't pay it in a timely fashion. Actually we did pay over the phone but a reference number was never given so to the water company we didn't pay. Here's a piece of helpful advice; If you're gonna have your water turned off, don't do it when it's 12 degrees outside. Now I know how folks going outside in the winter felt. OOOFF! fortunately my pipes didn't freeze. For those of you who are curios, I'm talking about my house water pipes.

My youngest is doing really well with her gifts. The other day she channeled and did really well. It wasn't planned, she was having a really bad day so I setup a nice bath for her with baking soda and sea salt. Setup some candles and let her relax. Within 5 minutes she comes running out asking for a pen and paper. She received some interesting information but more importantly she was feeling allot better.
I had to take my middle daughter for some psychological test to prove she's not schizophrenic (which she isn't). It was interesting but the really nice part was that her and I got a chance to talk on the way home. I'm really amazed by how insightful and smart she is.
My oldest is going to his second party in as many weeks. My girls have really been riding him because the party's are girls birthday party's and my son is really shy. My wife and I were more excited than he was when we dropped him off at last weeks party. I have to admit, I really like being a parent.

Lastly, I'm thinking about writing a book. I have an idea about what kind of book I'm going to write but I want to play with it a little before I commit to it. I'll let ya know ;o)

Blessings

Finished Reading My Book and a Little Life Lesson

I finished reading the book I had purchased. It was the book I had spoken about on my previous posting. I wrote the writer on a job well done and thanked her for writing such a great book. Usually when I read something I tend to read very fast especially if the topic really interests me. After I'm done I let the information settle in and go back and reread the book. Like looking at a picture or painting for the second time I often discover wonderful things that I missed the first time around. At the end of the book theirs a list of recommended readings. As you can guess I'm anxiously awaiting pay day so I can start purchasing them.

On other fronts we had our second game last night. It was fun and I'm finding myself not being as competitive as usual. I don't know if it's because I have other things on my mind or because being competitive isn't as important to me anymore. I continue to enjoy playing and it is a fantastic work out. In any case I had fun and the family had fun being there. I continue to work at Wal-Mart and I continue to struggle with it. It's no longer and ego issue as I have been humbled and it no longer matters to me. But what I have discovered is that one has to do what one truly enjoys. I enjoy being a tech and right now I would become a tech even if it meant taking less pay. I now truly understand what so many preach but not so many pay attention to. As a culture we are so obsessed with making more so we could buy more that finding one's true calling is overlooked. So do what you enjoy and don't worry about the money. For me it took working at Wal-Mart before I realized this lesson. Hopefully I can prevent others from experiencing such extremes before learning this little life lesson.

Soccer and a Job

Well I played soccer last night on a league team. It's an over 30 league so the chance of getting hurt is minimal (I hope). It was allot of fun and I truly missed playing. It's a coed league and everyone plays for fun which is great because there's allot less bumping. My wife even said how she notice a difference in me. I love physical activity and even though I'm a runner first, I truly enjoy team sports and being around everyone. Anyway they asked me to play for them and there's 6 more weeks of play so I'm pumped

On the other front I got a job!!! It isn't exactly what I wanted but it pays and it will help. I'm a midnight maintenance person at Wal-Mart. Personally I don't like Wal-Mart and my ego is taking a serious beating because here I am a very competent and skilled computer professional working at this place. Especially when my middle child wasn't too happy about it. But you know what; I need to be humble and stop being so cocky. Besides it helps me to put to work all of my things that I have been working on with respect to myself and others. So things are starting to look up.

My daughers crystal dream

As a dad I encourage my kids to keep their minds open to everything and to explore their feelings and intuitions. All of my gang I think are blessed and have advanced skills that they are starting to discover. My youngest is the most open to these and has seem to really start blossoming lately. She told me about a quick dream she had today so I figured I'd post it. I will relay the story as she told it to me.


She told me she was in the spirit world by her pond. She has had dreams about being in the spirit world before and has always been around her pond. This time there was a purple crystal with a pink centered pebble near the top (similair to the picture I posted, I'm guessing the pink pebble to be rose quartz). Out of curiosity she reach over and touched the crystal. She said it looked like when you touch the water and waves go out, She also said purple smoke came out of the crystal. She said she just stood there and watched it. She woke up.

I told her it was a beautiful dream and when she came back from school today that we should look up the meaning of the color purple. I know the meaning but feel that people retain information better when they have to do a little work for it plus it's time together. ;o)

Missing my Train

I'm starting to get better at getting up and writing down my dreams. I'm usually apprehensive about doing it because it takes me forever to get back to sleep. I stayed up for two hours after I wrote this one but I think it was worth it.

I'm walking in my old neighborhood on Staten Island. I meet a woman who knows me (we're both young, around our 20's) She invites me to go dancing again with her and her friends. I tell her I would go but deep down inside I'm not too excited about going. I get dressed in business clothes to go (suit and tie)

We meet up with her friends whom I feel I know. One is a Spanish speaking woman and the other is a very feminine black man. They look at me and really don't think I'm dressed right for the night. The man makes a disgusted face and touches my jacket asking me "You're gonna wear that?"

I flash to the dance hall in midtown New York back into a dream a had awhile ago. I'm dressed in different clothes, slacks, white shirt with the top 3 buttons undone and a sports jacket. It reminds me of how the guys dressed in Miami Vice. I have something around my neck. I think it's my crystal.

I notice the man I cam with is leaving so I make a dash to follow him out. I know this man but he's from my first dream.I'm trying to sneak out so the others don't see me and ask why I'm leaving. I follow him out trying to catch up. We head out to the street and the subway entrance is right outside the dance hall. As he goes down the stairs I see the Spanish speaking lady talking to someone. I think she's congratulating them on having a baby. I'm really not paying attention because I don't want her to notice me.

As I get to the stairs I hear the train entering the station. I start to run so I can reach the train in time. As hard as I try to run I'm not making any time. My body is moving in slow motion but everyone else is moving at normal speed. I'm trying really hard as I make the last landing. The uptown train is leaving and the downtown train to S.I. Ferry still has its doors open. I finally reach the platform as the train closes its doors and leaves. I missed it. I wake up.

I"m currently working on my patience and letting go of fear and worry. I think the subway part is my guides telling me the more I rush the slower I'll go so stop rushing. I think part of the dance hall is my guides telling me to stop worrying about the future and enjoy the moment. be in the now. I'm still trying to figure the first part of the dream and how this dream connects to the other dream. After this dream I realized that I did dream about these folks before and that we had already gone dancing once. In the last dream I went to the subway but the train did not come. At least it didn't come before I woke up. The other interesting thing I noticed was that the subway station in my second dream was more uptown about 52nd street. the first dream the subway station was 34th street. I used the ride the subways allot. ;o)

Inner Light Awareness

If you notice I added a new link to my site. It's called Inner Light Awareness and the site is dedicated to helping other's discover their inner light. The woman responsible for this is Jody Howard and she also wrote a book that she sells on-line. I bought her book and have been reading it for the last couple of days. Like everything else that has been happening to me over this past year the book opened me to a new world and answered allot of questions I had. I don't mean this to be a book review but I feel that I have to write about something that is having a big impact on me and my life. My wife has been reading it also and I think she's learnign as much as I am. It's really nice when her and I sit together and discuss the topics. I also like the book because I feel it gives me a foundation from which I can teach my children about spirituality. I have had my own struggles concerning religion and teachings about the creator. I wanted my children to learn about spirituality but I found it difficult to relay my own experiences without tarnishing it with my own fears and doubts. This book helps me to teach them and I'm very excited about it.

Thank You

I took time to look over some of my postings and I wanted to take this opportunity to thank those who took the time to read the postings. It is difficult to see who or how many have read my postings without their comments. This being the case I want to give a special thank you to those who have posted their thoughts. I truly appreciate the input and perspective that is presented when their comments are posted and wanted to acknowledge this with this little thank you post.

Menominee Indian Project

One of this weekends project was the Menominee Indian Project my middle child had. She had a report and we promised her we would work with her on building on a model of a wigwam. At first we tried to build the wigwam that looked like an igloo built out of bark. We also discovered they also built Teepee's so we opted for the latter. Teepee's are allot harder to build than we thought. :o) It was allot of fun because there was input from everyone involved. We were able to build the model which she brought to school today, and tonight we're supposed to make Menominee Indian corn bread. Being the proud Papa that I am, I'm also posting her one page report below. Enjoy.

The Menominee Indians were a select group living in Wisconsin and upper Michigan
where they settled in village sites at the mouth of the Menominee River. The
Menominee’s were also known as the wild rice tribe because the Menominee women
would collect wild rice from canoes in the summer time while the men of the tribe would
make and use arrows to hunt for small game from other boats, or fished for sturgeon with hooks, spears, traps, and nets. The Menominee’s were well known for their choice in colorful clothing. Men would ware deerskin skirts, leggings, and moccasins. The women usually wore shirts of woven nettles, along with ware deerskin skirts, leggings, and moccasins. Both men and women decorated their clothing with painted designs,porcupine quills, and beadwork, they were also known to ware copper jewelry. There shelter was made of bark and in the shape of a semi-circle called wigwams in the summer
but when winter season came they changed there shelter into longhouses. They also built
different lodges for sweating, dreaming, and fasting. The Menominee’s had a belief that children and elders were the closest to spirits. If a baby was unhappy they would send a special healer to find out why. When the children of the tribe got older the female children would be sent with her mother all day to be taught how to cook and harvest rice while the male children would spend his time with their fathers learning how to hunt and set up wigwams or longhouses. This is just a small picture of a tribe that lived in Wisconsin and upper Michigan.

Leonid Meteor Shower 2006

One of the things that I cherished most when I first moved to Pa was the fact that I could see the stars in the night sky. Also that I could actually take late night walks in the summer by the light of the full moon. Amazing!! A tradition that my family started was to go out and view the meteor showers when they came our way. I'm happy to say that this weekend, Nov 17 through Nov 20, The Leonid Meteor Shower will occur. So we're getting our blankets and hot chocolate and enjoying this early morning show that nature puts on. So if you have clear skies in your area and want to view something amazing grab a blanket and catch the show!

Bear Blessings

My wifes cousin is notorious for chain e-mails. For the most part I ignore them but every once in awhile she sends a good one. The next two postings are e-mails from her and I need to give her credit. A friend advised me that I should meditate to discover my totem. I think that the bear is one of them hence my second reason for the posting. Thank you Raven for your help.

BEAR would dare pass this on!!!!


Wishing you

In your busy life




Time for Relaxation




Good Sleep


Good Health with Exercise


Someone to Dance With


A bit of adventure


Good Looks


But Most of All ...

I Wish You Lots of Bear Hugs


And The Comforts of Real Love


Many Blessings...








May you always have love to share, health to spare, and friends that care.


But watch out for those darn penguins!

God spilled the paint

Above is a picture e-mailed to us by my wifes cousin in AZ. The picture was taken by Barbara Mathews May 14, 2005. Great job Barbara!!!

Top 10 List

Top 10 List
"Ten simple things YOU can do every day
to maintain inner peace and manifest world peace!"


#10 PLAY
#9 Be accountable
#8 Release Judgment
#7 Watch your Words
#6 GIVE
#5 SMILE
#4 Seek to Understand
#3 Listen
#2 Meditate
#1 PRAY

Top 10 list from Peaceful Earth Web Site

Making Changes

As I have stated in earlier posting, I have been experiencing a great deal of change in my life this year. I have also learned a great deal and think I am better for it. One of the things I continnue to work at is the process of self witness; In short you step out of yourself and look at yourselfe, without judgement, to see if there's anything you can do different. I've discovered there's two steps to this. One, discovering something you might want to change and two, actually changing it. The good news is that I discovered allot. One thing I've discovered is that changing long held habits and beliefs is really difficult and sometimes painful. Sometimes I find myself tryig to rationalize these habits and downplay them telling myselfe they're really not that important. Given the issue this can go on for hours, days, weeks, or sometimes months. If you haven't guessed by now, I'm finally dealing with an issue that's been there for long time. It's tough to say how I feel but I know that it is for the better.

I picked the picture above because it reminds me of my path in life. We all have our own paths in live and I hope yours leads to the growth and love we all strive for.

The Peace Meter

I found this really cool site "peaceful earth" I actually found it from the "Promoting Positvity" Site. That site "Promoting positivity"has a link to a "what is Peace" Flash movie that all should view. Thank you very much to my friend Raven for her great site and teh link . Below are the results from my taking the test for the Peace Meter. The link is below the results and welcome all to go ahead and try it.

As for ym results.... I would say they are pretty acurate.


Here are your results...

SCORE OF 89-113

Peaceful Presence

Peaceful Presence:

Does any of this sound like you?

For the most part, you are a peaceful presence. Though you do have your breaking points! You may let things build up, or you may allow yourself to be affected by external circumstances. At those breaking points, you may say things you regret, or do things that are “unlike” you in normal circumstances. You are a kind, giving person but you may judge others or hold grudges against those that have hurt you. You may experience times of great joy and peace, followed by times of chaos or stress. You are trying to develop consistency in your life—not one filled with high’s and low’s but with a consistent joy and peace. You may feel off-center in your career or in a relationship. You may do things for others at your own expense and then come to resent that later. For the most part, your life is fulfilling but you’d like to make some “minor tweeks” that would enable you to be completely centered at all times.

http://www.peacefulearth.com/peacemeter_online.php

NYC Marathon

Well the NYC Marathon is done and boy what an experience!! OOOFFFF! My finishing time was 4:24. Not what I wanted but it was better than last years time which was a 5:07. I'm trying not to be competative but I still find myself wanting to beat my own time to get my personal best. The marathon was great as usual. The peole were wonderful and the weather was great. Around the 12 mile mark I was running and thinking to myself, "If I could only share this wonderful feeling with people" I cannot describe the feeling. Some people say it's the runers high but I disagree because I'm never that euphoric when I'm doing a 20 mile training run. I really think it's just the energy of people being positive and cheering you on and everyone working as one for an experience. The pain started to hit around mile 16 and it intensified until finishing. My buddy got really bad cramps and had to stop a couple of times. I stopped with him but it just my my situation a little harder because I found it harder to start every time. even when we stopped it was wonderful. One woman came up and gave my friend a terrific leg massag with ben gay to try to stop his cramped. She asked me if I wanted one and I thank her and said no. I think if I said yes I probably wouldn't have wanted to finish the race because she really did do a good job. :o)



I finished the run got my goodies and went to find my family. One thign about doing such an extreme activity, when you are done you are overwhelmed with emotion. I found my family and hugged them and just cried. Just let everything out. My kids know me and tease me asking me if my sinuses are acting up again. Of course I said yes,:o) We took the subway to get back to my car and forgot to get off at a stop so we ended up in Brooklyn. I really didn't care. We got a nice view of the sunset when we went over the bridge and I got to tell race stories to people who congradulated me about the race on the train.
We forgot the camera in the car so I don't havenay post race pics. My wife took some on my cell phone but I have to figure out how to get them to my computer. I think I can e-mail them to me. We also weren't able to get pics of my wife or the guys I ran with so I aplogize. The two pics are one before the race and the other is a post race pic. I'm sure you can figure which one is which

Keeping the Faith

It's been a pretty intense week. I think the worst of it is we have no money. Let me rephrase that, we have little money close to no money. There was a mixup with our automatic bill payment and it pretty much wiped out what we have left. So we're trying to figure out how we're gonna pay for food, gas and the rest of the bills for the next two weeks. My wife went to ask her parents to barrow some money and did not recieve a warm reception. Basically she was berated on what a jerk I was. I don't mind it for myself but I feel for her having to go through that. On top of that I had installed IE 7 (which was awful) and had to unistall it to go back to IE6. Now that I'm in IE6 I cannot post to my blog. I'm currently posting through Opera.
We're both keeping our chin up and working hard trying not to let us down. I have no doubt that we'll pull through, I'm just worried about my wife. We have spoken and I have said to her to remember that we have each other and the kids. That the love we share is more important than anything and it will see us through.
I have the NYC Marathon tomorrow and we've decided that I should run it. I think mostly because it's always been a big event for our family every year and it gives everyone something positive to focus on.
Like I said, it's tough but we'll pull through. I don't want anyone feeling bad for us because there are plenty of families and folks that have gone through worse. I consider myself blessed to have what I have and even though economically things are tough I could not ask for anythig more in terms of what I have around me. I think I have said before I write to my blog because to me it's a sort of therapy and when I look back at what I write I can see it in a different perspective. I also do it because I hope that others thast read it can get something from it that will help them with their lives. After all that's part of what we're all about "helping each other"
Well I have to go finish dinner. Wish us luck tomorrow. :o)

P.S. Hope you like the pic. Another scenic one we took during our walk