Running (Again!?!)

I just finished doing a 20 mile training run earlier. OOFFF! Got the Steamtown Marathon on Oct 8 and I want to feel half decent when I'm done. I figure I would write about running again because it has become an important part of my life. These last couple of months I've learned allot and have changed a great deal. I have become more spiritual and have opened myself up more and tried to become more centered. One thing that has always helped has been my running. Anytime I have had increased stressed, bad day, or just needed time alone, my runs have come along and saved the day. When I'm done with a run I feel refreshed and positive and ready to take on anything life has for me. Besides the pain this older body experiences I really don't have any negatives about it. I truly consider my running meditation in motion

The meeting and anther school dream

Well..... The meeting concerning my daughter went poorly. Firstly, I thought I having a one on one meeting with a psychiatrist and it turned out that it was a 4 on one meeting. I don't know if this happens with anyone else of school aged children but I really do not feel comfortable when the numbers are like that. When I was a manager it was a common tactic used by other managers whne they had to give an employee bad news and I never felt comfortable with it. In any case, most of the meeting was spent with them trying to convinve me my daughter was schizoid and had suicidal tendancies. I kept presenting evidence to them to the contrary but I'm the parent so my observations don't count. In the past my temper has always gotten the better of me but I remained in control throughout the ordeal. What I did experience, for the first time, was hyper ventilating and losing my breath. Fortunately I was able to catch myself and take a deep breath before it got out of control. I have to remind myself that they are also doing what they think is best but it's very difficult when you're made to feel that you don't know what you're talking about.

Had another school dream (which I'm starting to think has to do with the stress I feel on a daily basis). This one I was a student in a college. I'm going to make it short and get to the point. I was at a rally (opening day ceremony) and I noticed someone kill two other people. They saw that I saw the incident and came after me. The whole dream was me trying to get out of there and trying to convince my wife and mother in law (huh?) to believe me and take the family to safety. Huh on mom in law because her and I have a stereotypical relationship. I see the correlation between the days events and the dreams. Actually the more I reread the more sense it starts to make (the dream that is)

My daughter and I took the pic above on one of our after school walks. It had just finished raining and the leaves are starting to change colors in the Pennsylvania Mountains. I wish I remember to turn off the time stamp but Se La Vi. This is my daughter whom I have written about before. I have to go meet with a psychiatrist on Monday who has seen it fit to diagnose my daughter as being schizophrenic. I know she's not schizophrenic, she is a very smart girl who is very sensitive and currently needs allot of attention. I have to keep reminding myself to keep cool when dealing with the doctor. Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that these people tend to put you on the defensive and aggressively pursue the home environment as a cause for the child's issue. But it is a beautful picture, as beautiful as she is. She wanted me to print this and a couple of other pics so she could show them at school.

Coping with change and School Dreams

I haven't written anything on the site for a long time. There's been allot of change in my life lately and I've been trying to adjust while keeping a positive attitude. I've been finding myself struggling and questioning myself but fortunately I think I'm pulling out of it and getting back to my cheerful confident selfe. ;o)
I've had some starnge dreams in the last couple of weeks but two in particular stick out. I want to write them down and hopefully someone can help me gain some insight on these.

The first dream I'm a student and I'm on a college campus. I'm happy as anything and I'm running around the whole place meeting new people and trying to take in as much as I can. I come to a park on the campus that has a lake. Near the edge of the lake are two big devices that provide drainage. Their metal, like a long box and the way you start the draining process is by flipping the top oipen which activates a valve. These devices are also back to back. There's a woman who is opening the first device and starting the draining process. As she's opening the lid she's stepping back. I notice that she's goign to trip and fall into the other device but I'm too late.
an alarm goes off and I run to the lake to jump in and help her. When I get to the lake I notice other people that have jump in to help her but now they need help also. The look like they're frozen or in a trance state. These lifegaurds appear and they're dressed in these orange/yellow suits. they jump in and hold hands and form a circle around the people who have fallen in. the circles reminded me of the skydivers when they hold hands as they fall. In any case the circle of people rotate with the trapped person in the middle. I'm puzzled and I hear someone say to me, this is the only way we can save them. I wake up.

The second dream I'm in a school building with many stories. Everyone thinks there's only the stairs and the elevators to help you get up and down all of these levels in the school. Me being the mischievouse soul that I am, I start nosing around and discover another method that is deep within the building. The system is a double helix and looks like the dna pictures they always show on the science channels like Discovery. (From this point on my memory of the dream is fragmented so please stick with me). I'm able to get up and down the the levels of the school allot easier and quicker than the other two methods and chuckle to myself at my new discovery. I bump into another person who is around the age of a teenager. I cannot recall if he wanted to destroy the device or was nervouse about someone wanting to destroy it. I know that during our conversation a female student appeared all of a sudden that scared him. I don't know if she was there to destory it or prevent him from it. I did not feel threatened by any of them though; I remember being real curiose as to why one of them wanted to destroy it. End of dream

Running

Well I was finally able to run again yesterday (ran 6 miles). It took me three days to recover from my race. I really don't know if that's good or bad in terms of my running shape. I know I'm getting older because I'm starting to pay attention to my body and how it responds. A couple of years ago I probably would have gone out the next day and ignored the pain.
You could say that runningis one of those things that has had a deep impact on my life. Three years ago I had a 2 pack a day smoking habit and was 30 pounds overwieght. After multiple attempts at quitting I finally decided I needed a goal. I decided I was going to run the NYC marathon and the rest is history.
Along with getting into shape running has helped me with keeping myself grounded. It is a wonderful stress releaver and I find that after a run I am totally relaxed and optomistic. I love to compete and that's one of the reasons I always entering races ( I love the peeps too). Don't get me wrong I don't ever think I'm gonna win any of them. I guess I compete against myself; always trying to beat my personal best. Always trying to be better than the last time. I'm finding that as time goes I think less about beating my time and more about enjoying the run.
Although I'm learning to enjoy the experience more I don't think I'll ever resist the urge to look up at the clock as I cross the line ;o).