Good Morning!!! I'm sorry that I haven't been publishing anything lately. I continue to be among the unemployed and the little nest egg I had saved has been depleted. My wife has been super supportive but I know she's starting to worry even though she tries to hide it from me. She's a trooper and I love her all the more for it. Both her and I have become more spiritual in the past year and we both strive to keep ourselves centered and open. As you can imagine, it becomes increasingly difficult when an event like this occurs and bill collectors are constantly hastlying you. The voice of doubt starts to creep in and you start questioning all of your actions and wonder if you've done the right thing. I've gone through that phase and I'm confident that things will turn around when it is time. Even though I feel confident there are times when I have great difficulty worrying about my wife and children. I don't want her (or them) to worry so I push myself in all directions, like a headless chicken, to try to find some sort of solution. So there in lies my inner struggle the one side of me that knows to be patient and things will turn around and the other side of me that feels guilty about putting my family through this and looking for an immediate solution regardless of the direction. It's at time like this when I don't feel much like writing.
The beautiful part about this experience though is that we both have meditated together and taken long walks together to help us. In short we have spent more time together than we have in a long time. And we have become closer. Even my gang has commented on how I'm smiling again. And being a house dad is pretty nice; I get to see them off in the morning and see them when they first get off the bus. I cook dinner (I really enjoy cooking). Just gotta learn how to make money from it. Maybe I should start my own cable show and call it "House Dad". I'm sure there are other fathers that are in similair situations. I could be the Martha Stewart of Men!!!!
OOOOFFFF!!! That's scary!
Anyway, I'm writing now because for me this is great therapy to put my thoughts down. I write on the blog because I don't want to remain close, I think it's important for me to open myself to others. Hopefully someone reading this can gain insight that will help them. Or they can offer some advice that will help.
Good Morning
:o)
2 comments:
I can honestly say I know exactly how you are feeling. I was working in a doctor's office up until last July(2005) and I have tried so hard to find a job out of my home due to my health. It has been an endless wall of dead ends and stunmbling boxes. I question myself why is my life coming to a screeching stop with only trails and troubles facing me? Is it the "dark night of the soul" and then I pray and I realize no that is not it either. Something bizarre is happening all over. A lot of people are experiencing this in their lves. It as if we are standing and waiting at the edge of "something". I just do not know what. I feel it and know but what it is I am not sure. I have never,ever had problems getting a job like this before. In spite of the lack of my extra income I still feel this inner confidence of the soul that keeps reassuring me that it is all going to work out . To be patient and it will be revealed. I guess being humans and money is a form of energy that control our lives we do have the right to feel a little anxious. I wish whatever it is will happen soon as I am struggling for answers also. I probably didn't help much but I do understand. :o)
Blessings to you and your family.
Hi Raven;
Actually you have helped a great deal. Whenever someone goes through a hard time it does provide comfort when you discover that someone else has experienced similiar and can relate. A sort of kinship or sharing of experience. You feel comfort that someone else understands what you are going through. So thank you for your comments.
Blessings
Epi
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