Got Repo !?!

I continue to run across situations in which I am challenged to stay the course. Last night at about 9:00 PM there was a knock at my door. It was a tow truck driver coming to reposes our car. Since I was unemployed for so long there were certain things I couldn't pay. We made the decision accepted it and let it go until we were on our feet again. I guess we fell short. The man was actually pretty nice I didn't give him a hard time. It was my fault and he had a job to do. We spoke a little I drove the car to a parking lot for him and that was it. All the while I was trying to focus on staying positive and letting go of the anxiety. It didn't work too well. I slept terribly, struggling with myself and my negative emotions. It's difficult to describe the feeling, a feeling of failure, emptiness, loneliness and embarrassment. I kept telling myself, it's just a car and you did everything I could to keep everything together but it was a struggle. Hence my long night. I worried immensely about my wife. I didn't want her to worry and we both had to go to work the next day. We decided we both would bike to work.



I was able to get myself straighten out today and get on a more positive path. I spoke with the creditor which is never a positive experience. But I was ready to make it as easy as possible. The news wasn't good but again I stayed focus and kept my chin up, My poor wife got two flats on the way home and ended up walking. 5.5 miles!! Mind you my wife does not exercise, we just started walking 2.5 miles together so she could build up and get into shape. I love her so much!

My kids were a little scared. I think they also were worried about me and my wife. We reassured everything was OK and that we loved them. I think after they saw we weren't falling apart they felt better. I love them so much too.

I'm feeling better now and I'm actually happy. I am so fortunate to have what I have. I also have to remember the law of attraction. The loss of the car hurts and we'll have to figure something out. And I'll probably have a couple of more short episodes of fighting anxiety. But I know I'm blessed and lucky to have my family,my friends and to be able to share myself and my thoughts.



Blessings