I want to make one more post about work (at least for now). I've been at my new job for a little over a month now and even though I am starting to settle in I continue to feel like I haven't found my place yet. There isn't a comfort yet. Part of this, actually a large part, is my relationship with my boss. Actually I really like the man, he reminds me allot of me. He's no nonsense and straight to the point. But I also notice he has allot of my old habits, traits. Even though I have always been fiercely independent and always question authority I always had that part of me looking for approval. Whether it be a friend, relative,lover, or boss.
I find myself in a similar situation now. I sold myself to him as a man that can get the job done. I still think I can do that, I just can't do that the way I used to and that has proved to be an interesting challenge to me. I'm no longer the no holds bar get the job person I once was. I refuse to get to the goal regardless of the damage caused. I think this is the type of person he was looking for and he's discovering that it's not the person he got. Part of me feels like I let him down and it bothers me. Because I'm trying new things my confidence isn't what it normally is and again it is disconcerting. I am very used to jumping in and getting things done. Regardless I'm not going to change my new way of working.
I think it is interesting that I have learned so much spiritually but putting it to use in this world is soooooo difficult. I sometimes wonder if they are meant to work together or if they are to always be so opposed to each other. I guess that is the challenge of being a part of this world.
I hope that I find success in my new methods. I also hope that not only I will learn from it but that my boss learns from it also.
4 comments:
You analyzed that situation well. What is so good is that you see patterns of your spiritual experiences and growth.
It does seem very diifcult to combine the spiritual world with the mundane. I find it at times close to impossible. I am being bluntly honest. I think if there is something happening it is at a level I cannot perceive.
I wrote you a good e-mail along this trainof thought. How those who are "awakening" canbe frustrated by those who are still sleepwalking. That is my problem wtih who I am . The world of duality is tough. Hang in there. Do not change. You are going forwards and those obstacles are tests. You can pass this one. YOu already know what you are dealing with. You are dealing with you in the past. Reference that as in how to deal with him. How would you have dealt with you?
Here is my dream blog: http://ridingtheastralplane.blogspot.com/
I just put the welcome on there today and I shall go from there. See you there.:o)
Take care my friend,
Titania
I forgot to comment on your awesome photo choices. Those were perfect! :o)
You know Titania, I spoke with someone today that told me similar to what you just posted. I guess great minds think alike. I always appreciate your perspective and insight, more than you'll ever know.
Blessings my friend
I'll be remembering you and your new job situation in my thoughts.
A big temptation in situations like yours are to try to open our own doors of opportunity instead of being watchful of doors that are being spiritually opened for us. I'm a firm believer that God closes way more doors than He opens.
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